the trans-wisconsin expressway

2007-03-03T09:48:00.000-08:00

2007-03-03T09:42:00.000-08:00

One year ago

2007-03-03T09:19:00.000-08:00

So it has been a year since this all started. We threw Klaus a surprise party to celebrate his anniversary, but I prefer to let my own 'cancer' anniversary go by without much acknowledgement. Im glad to feel back to normal, although it really is a 'new' normal, as they say in cancer-speak. Im not completely healthy; i feel weak at times, like i need immediate sleep, and im still sort of unstable emotionally. Its like i cant control how i will feel and times when my emotions take me on a ride its really hard to get back to calm. Im also still having trouble breathing when im working out. This has been complicated recently by a particularly hideous cold ive had this past week. Im still taking a laxative (ew!) but im off all my other medications. what else... oh my hand numbness seems to be working itself out, but i still wake up sometimes with numb extremities. also, and this is weird, sometimes my right forefinger gets really cold and turns white. wouldnt it be awful if it fell off? yes, it would.

as for work, ive completely submersed myself and am excited to announce that ive officially set my thesis defense date for april 16th. afterwards im going to go see david sedaris perform at the overture center here in madison. david accompanied me through my treatments and i appreciated his wry, self-deprecating humor as i very much took the same tone with my own misfortunes. anyway, im all-too excited to see him and get my thesis done.

the weird thing about having cancer and then not is that a lot of people that have since come into my life dont know about it. and its not something that 'comes up' in conversation, you know? i feel incredibly awkward when it does drop into the convo because it feels to me like im boasting, or trying to get attention or something. but im totally not. it was/is such a big part of my reality that to not casually throw it in there feels weird. this adds to the trend of becoming increasingly socially awkward as i come into my academic self. overly aware and overly critical are not socially lubricating qualities. add to that a health problem and you've got yourself a girl to avoid at parties.

im looking forward to spring and summer, as i was brutally robbed of them last year. klaus and i plan on camping a lot in wisconsin and in generally trying to get out and see some of the midwest. there has been talk of klaus getting (back) into sailing, although i think ill stay on dry land. there are some shows coming up that we are excited about (arcade fire in chicago, anyone?). i will be finishing up my classes for the semester and then studying for a prelim exam (we have to take two before we can be considered 'dissertators', for those of you who dont know). im taking mine first in education. so the work ahead is plentiful!

I think its time to put the blog to rest, and it seems appropriate to do so at the year mark of the beginning of treatment. I plan on continuing to share my photos with the world through a flickr account, but if you want to know where to find my pictures you are going to have to email me=) Andrew suggested that i start another blog, but im not sure what i would blog about, if not about cancer. my experience as a grad student is not all that riveting, although there are some blogs out there by sociologists that are great (JF, jude, etc). for now, im going to fade back into the real world, but you can always email, phone, myspace, or twitter me!

so, photos of the surprise party for klaus to follow. its been great! thanks for reading.

update soon!

2007-02-23T14:17:00.000-08:00

Check back in a couple of days for an update, mayyybe the LAST ONE!

2007-01-27T10:16:00.000-08:00

Pictures from last night part-ay.

2007-01-27T10:12:00.000-08:00

Rachel and I at SevenTen in Chicago! Lovely dinner, thanks Rachel!

2007-01-27T10:04:00.000-08:00

Happy Unbirthday to Kia! She was celebrating her birthday for more than a month this year. How does she do that??

End of Month Post for January

2007-01-27T09:41:00.000-08:00

January is coming to a close. I can't believe how fast time is flying by now. This month has been great! I was able to get some serious work done on my thesis, which I am now planning on defending at the end of March. I started classes for the semester this past week. It's very cold outside, but still warmer than it should be. I figure God is giving me a break after all that has gone on in the past year. Thanks God.

I have various pictures from through out the month including pictures from Kia's unbirthday party, a trip to chicago, and this weekend's soxy party a la casa de Amy y Brent. Fun was had by all!

Im throwing around the idea of getting rid of the blog in March. March marks the year anniversary of starting the blog, so it fits nicely as an end date. If I do stop blogging, I may get a flickr account to continue to share pictures with you guys. See the flickr account would give you access to more pictures (I only post the ones that I look the best in on the blog, as you know). But I wouldnt write anything. You may have to actually start calling or emailing me to get the scoop, although I dont know how much scoopy information I actually post on the blog. Anyway, Im kicking the idea around. If you have an opinion, do say so.

This next month should be great as well. Next week Jenn, Adam, Klaus and I are going to dinner at a fancy French restaurant here in Madison. It's restaurant week here, so we are getting a three course meal for 25 bucks. what a deal! Superbowl is next weekend, which doesnt excite me personally, but others seem to be excited, so im excited by proxy. It turns out that this is not the last football game of the season... there is still the ProBowl, which is torture in my mind. To each their own, eh? Other than that, I believe I will mostly be working and trying to get back to pre-treatment levels of fitness.

One more thing before I leave you for another month. My dear friend Shelley has been diligently working on a website that focuses on killing cancer in the state of Texas (and presumably beyond). The site aims to garner support to make cancer research a priority in Texas government. According to the site, only 10% of cancer research is funded! In any case, it is a good cause. But even more it is a FINE website. Check it out! http://www.killcancer.org

Ok my friends, I hope everyone is well and happy. I miss those I havent talked to in a while, so dont hesitate to email me or call if you feel the want. I also miss people I talk to everyday, so you guys should also email me. k?

Enjoy the photos when I get them posted!!

2007-01-12T17:06:00.000-08:00

newer hair picture as promised...

2007-01-11T18:35:00.002-08:00

2007-01-11T18:35:00.001-08:00

This is Seemay!

2007-01-11T18:35:00.000-08:00

In the beginning of the month i visited Brenda and Seemay in San Francisco. This is Brenda.

2007-01-11T18:34:00.000-08:00

Jenn had her 25th birthday! We celebrated with brunch, which Adam graciously made for us. Thanks Adam!

2007-01-11T18:33:00.001-08:00

Jenn and I met up with Rachel in mid-December to go to the German Christmas Market in downtown Chicago!

2007-01-11T18:33:00.000-08:00

Carin and Alex! Newly married, but as cheesy as always.

2007-01-11T18:32:00.002-08:00

Theresa and Klaus at Christmas. Too sweet!

2007-01-11T18:32:00.001-08:00

Breakfast with Kristin at Kerbey Lane in Austin. mmmm paris texas platter....

2007-01-11T18:32:00.000-08:00

Klaus, me and Tabitha Jane... The newest addition to the Beck family. Cute, huh? I like to pretend she is mine.

2007-01-11T18:31:00.000-08:00

Wagner family Christmas!

December update (in January)

2007-01-11T18:28:00.000-08:00

I got my charger back! hooray!

This past month has been great! Remission has been good to me. I finished my classes and traveled a lot. I went to San Francisco for a weekend in early December, and to Chicago to see Rachel for the Christmas Market, and then to Texas for the holidays! It was a fun month, but now I need to relax and work on finishing my thesis. Klaus is going to Mexico for a week of paragliding fun, and I am going to lock myself in my office for the week.

The hair is much longer than in these pictures. It has grown so fast since Christmas. I will have Klaus take a picture of it soon and will post a better hair update. As for my health, some weird things are going on... I have been feeling tired and my chest is more wheezy than before. I had an appointment last monday with my oncologist, who didnt seem concerned. We have another appointment in March and he suggested that we wait until then to see how the symptoms progress. My nails are really brittle and I have gained weight. Too bad I got rid of all my pants during chemo and bought all new skinny pants. I was so excited to be a smaller size that I didnt really think about what I would do when I inevitably gained the weight back after treatment. Silly me.

Well, I hope everyone had a GREAT holiday season! Congratulations to Dana and Dan, and to Allison and Chris on their engagements! And congratulations to Eston and Jenny on their marriage! Im so excited for you guys.

See you soon!

camera battery charger

2007-01-03T18:25:00.000-08:00

lost it. ordered new one. until then... you must wait.

look for an update soon!

2007-01-01T20:47:00.000-08:00

tonight klaus and i got back from our trip to texas. i am excited about uploading pictures from our trip and letting you all know how things have been going! happy 2007 everyone! check back soon.

2006-12-08T17:56:00.000-08:00

me and katie after eating thanksgiving dinner at katie's aunt's house. these are pictures sent to me from mary...

2006-12-08T17:55:00.001-08:00

mary and katie

2006-12-08T17:55:00.000-08:00

katie, klaus and nob at thanksgiving!!

2006-12-08T17:54:00.000-08:00

nob playing with his camera, klaus rubbing my hair

2006-12-08T17:53:00.000-08:00

watching thanksgiving football...

3 month post-treatment scans

2006-12-08T17:32:00.000-08:00

Hi all! I had a CT scan yesterday and got my results today. I am NED (no evidence of disease)! which is GREAT, and means im still in remission. i will have scans every three months for the first year i am out of treatment, and then six months for the second year. yearly after that. lets all hope i continue to get clean results...

officially:

IMPRESSION:
1. Stable examination when compared to the prior study of 8/23/2006
2. No definite evidence of residual cervical adenopathy and no change
since the last examination.

my radiotherapist told me i have some inflammation my lungs. its either from the bleomycin drug (the B of ABVD) or radiation. she called this ground-glass opacity. some people develop pneumonia from this, but most dont. so basically i have to wait to see what the fluid chooses to do: flare up and give me a fever and cough, or resolve in and of itself. here is some information about that from the mayo clinic's website.

Ground-Glass Opacity

Ground-glass opacity refers to a hazy increase in lung attenuation through which pulmonary vessels may still be seen. Ground-glass opacity may be caused by a partial filling of the alveolar spaces or thickening of the interstitium. Differential diagnosis of ground-glass opacities includes infections, pulmonary edema, hypersensitivity pneumonitis, acute inhalational injuries, drug-induced lung diseases, nonspecific interstitial pneumonia, respiratory bronchiolitis–associated ILD, desquamative interstitial pneumonia (DIP), acute interstitial pneumonia, and pulmonary alveolar proteinosis.

So there you have it. so far so good! no cancer. its all i hope for.

2006-11-26T14:36:00.000-08:00

Another good hair picture. lets see... three months out of chemo, two out of radiation. This is Klaus and i at the krebsbach house. i will post more (better) thanksgiving pictures when i get copies from mary.

2006-11-26T14:34:00.000-08:00

Jumping around in Brooklyn

2006-11-26T14:32:00.000-08:00

Al and I are enjoying some much needed uncle/neice time.

2006-11-26T14:31:00.000-08:00

NYC! kristin has skillz! she was able to get us all in that picture. amazing.

2006-11-26T14:30:00.001-08:00

Kate and Andrew at the whitney!

2006-11-26T14:30:00.000-08:00

here is a good hair shot. This is kristin and me, enjoying some bloody marys before heading to the art museum.

2006-11-26T14:28:00.000-08:00

NYC! im trying to energize taru after a long day of shopping in SOHO. she is not amused, but i am!

2006-11-26T14:27:00.000-08:00

the girls on halloween! im a 'horseback rider', kia is liza, dana is lucille ball, and jenn is 'your mom'. klaus dressed up as me, but ill spare you the photos. youre welcome.

November Update!

2006-11-26T14:07:00.000-08:00

Hello my faithful readers! I know you have been checking for a recent update, and you have been rewarded! Following this post will be pictures from all the things I remembered to take my camera to in the past month as well as some nice new hair pictures.

So, first and foremost, the hair. Things are coming along. Most of the xtra hair on my face has faded, which is good. The hair on my head is darkening and I can see a tint of red, so I may not be a blonde afterall. I have been so excited about maybe having different hair, but after all of this I may just have the same red hair ive always had. I feel robbed of the experience. well, no, I dont really. I had all the 'experience' I really needed to, thank you.

in other health news, I have only a few lingering side effects from treatment. I am having what I think are visual migraines, only a couple of times have these been followed by actual headaches. I am still waking up with slight swelling and pain in my hands. this seems to be getting worse, not better. I had a chest xray done last week to take a look at some swelling I have just beneath the surface of my right collarbone. the radiologist think its scar tissue, and didnt see anything alarming in the scan. working out has been great for my heart and my lungs. my heart beat is slowing down and im not as winded doing daily activities as I have been. id give myself a B+ for overall recovery from chemo and rads.

As for all the stuff that has happened in the last month, wow. I look back at my calendar and realize just how busy things have been. halloween was great. I didnt make it down to state street which is infamous for its halloween rioting in past years. klaus sauntered down for a look at the debauchery but apparently was sorely let down. they charged an entry fee, which seems to have quelled the riotous energy down there. which is all fine for me. last year I saw some dude get his faced bashed in on a curb by a band of hoodlums. I dont plan on going back.

the football games were great. freezing, but great. this fall I have been inundated with football culture, much moreso than when I lived in texas believe it or not. im still not into it, but I understand the game more. I have made it to three badger games and one gopher game, which are fun. games on tv are not so fun. I scowled at countless football games from the seat of my own couch as klaus tried desperately to enjoy his saturday, sunday and monday nights. maybe next year ill learn to relax a little. probably not, though.

my trip to nyc was rushed, but fun. I got to see taru and mikey, kristin, my cousin kate, and uncles al and andrew. I ate a bunch of great food, and drank a little too much but I shopped the perfect amount. we were able to see the picasso-inspired american art exhibit at the whitney museum. that was probably the highlight, thanks al!

klaus an I made it out to minneapolis to see nobby and sandy for thanksgiving. klaus' cousins mary and katie were there too. after stuffing ourselves silly, we are back in madison for the few weeks in between turkey day and christmas. we are planning on spending christmas in texas, but will only be there for a week. until then, however, it is time for me to start studying for finals! look for another post after christmas. hope everyone is doing well!

oh my....

2006-10-28T13:34:00.000-07:00

Woman Investigated for Faking Cancer
Wed 10/25/2006 -
http://www.wkowtv.com/index.php/news/story/p/pkid/25174

Monthly Blog Update!

2006-10-23T12:31:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone,

The past month has been great. Im getting back into the swing of things at school and fall has arrived in madison, making my hat style more prevalent among the masses. Klaus and I have joined a gym so I can get some of the muscle that i lost back and beef up my heart and lungs a little. The pictures below document the latest goings-on. A couple of weeks ago, my work group (ITP) had a little party at the Villa Tap, a local madison legend! Mary owns the bar and we all went down there to eat, drink and play pool. This past weekend Klaus and I went to visit Nobby and Sandy in Minnesota. We were able to go to a Gopher football game (M-I-N-N-E-S-O-T-A, mn'SOTA, mn'SOTA yyyaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy Gophers!) and to a Krebsbach family reunion of sorts. Klaus and I met a load of his extended relatives. Very, very nice people. Salt of the earth, as they say.

My hair is still growing. my eyelashes and brows seem to be back to normal, and my head is covered with blonde peach fuzz still, albeit longer than last time as you might expect. I have lots of blonde hairs on my face, which are starting to fade a little. im glad about that. i was 'this close' to buying some nair the other day. I have been feeling really great, aside from a little cold/runny nose this weekend. My energy is up and I have zero pain. pretty great, huh?

The next few weeks promise to be busy for us. Halloween, then the Penn State game (with Michelle and Dorothy! yay!), then a trip to NYC. whew! Dana's birthday, then a trip to San Francisco... lots of stuff. I will check back again in a month to let you know how things are going. Enjoy the pictures!

2006-10-23T12:24:00.001-07:00

Hair update! Picture taken oct 22nd, about two months after finishing chemo and two weeks after finishing radiation.

2006-10-23T12:24:00.000-07:00

Hair update!

2006-10-23T12:22:00.000-07:00

Nobby, me, Klaus, and Theresa. Get this, Nob actually severed a raccoon tail from a road kill raccoon so he could put it on his harley antennae. thats Cool with a capital C.

2006-10-23T12:19:00.000-07:00

Kia and Jill are at the Villa Tap to celebrate ME (again)! Isnt kia's hair cute. i can only hope my hair cooperates as such in the next few months.

2006-10-23T12:18:00.000-07:00

Mary and Chris! You cant tell from this picture, but Chris has long blonde hair, which he has grown and cut off numerous times for various cancer benefits. Cancer patients looooove Chris.

2006-10-23T12:17:00.000-07:00

This is MARY! Mary is one of my loyal blog readers. Our ITP group went out on Friday the 13th of Oct to celebrate finishing cancer treatments. HI MARY!!!!!

2006-10-10T16:38:00.000-07:00

kia tries to steal my thunder, unsuccessfully. ok maybe a little successfully.

2006-10-10T16:33:00.000-07:00

toast: to ME! and to photos from the surprise party.

2006-10-10T16:32:00.000-07:00

"i kicked cancer's ass" and then i ate it.

2006-10-10T16:31:00.000-07:00

adam and aly

IM DONE!

2006-10-07T13:44:00.000-07:00

So i am officially done with my cancer treatments. yesterday was a magical day. not only did i get a photo-copied certificate colored in with highlighter from the radiotherapists, i was also the honored guest at a surprise party at dana and dans! lord was i surprised. congrats to all who fooled me. you almost gave me a heart attack.

the pictures below are of the radiation room and some of my bald head. the hair is still growing, and ill post more pictures of my head toward the end of the month. pictures from the surprise party will be posted as soon as i get them from jenn!

thanks everyone!

2006-10-07T13:30:00.001-07:00

so far, i still look bald.

2006-10-07T13:30:00.000-07:00

my little hairs! this picture is from sept. 23rd. ill try and take one every month so you can help me monitor my progress.

2006-10-07T13:29:00.000-07:00

dont be scared! its over now anyway! this is how they radiated me.

2006-10-07T13:28:00.000-07:00

this is what they use to pin me to the table. it was melted and form-fitted on my head during the radiation work-up

2006-10-07T13:27:00.000-07:00

Radiation Machine: the whole thing swings around and shoots from the bottom too.

pictures!

2006-10-04T21:00:00.000-07:00

pictures soon, promise!

update

2006-09-30T19:16:00.000-07:00

HI everyone. This week was great, really busy. Im not doing nearly as poorly as i thought i would as a result of the radiation. I only have five more treatments left and i feel relatively fine. i keep reading scary stories about radiation treatments online, but so far the biggest side effect is the scratchy food pipe and constant feeling of something in my throat. My skin is getting itchy on my back and chest too. The fatigue is managable. im pretty tired at the end of the day, but then again i havent been running around this much since before i started treatment so im assuming part of that is getting used to a new schedule.

hair news: my coarse, dark, chemo-burnt stubble is falling out. This hair was sparse and very patchy. some of the hairs would grow at abnormally fast rates. i used to have a lot of fun plucking those hairs. the new growth is very fine peachy fuzz all over the head. all my body hair is growing back too. it makes my skin feel very rough compared to my hairless self. i love taking a shower and using shampoo on my new baby hair. so far its light colored, i dare-say blonde. my eyelashes are half the normal length and they look red to me. (! yay)

you will be happy to hear that my radiotherapy dr. and radiotherapists are wonderful. they are so helpful and fun and empathetic. i see the radiotherapists every day and my dr. once a week so they are starting to get to know me, and i them. klaus came in last week with me and was shocked by the whole process. this week im going to try and remember to take a camera to document the craziness that is radiation.

hope everyone is doing well! "T minus 5" as dana put it today. hopefully it will continue to be smooth sailing.

today...

2006-09-23T21:55:00.000-07:00

i started growing eyelashes back! they are teeny tiny and blonde, but they are there! to my recovery! *clink*

1/2 way done with radiation

2006-09-22T09:02:00.000-07:00

today marks my tenth radiation treatment. my list of side effects is growing! im afraid the next two weeks are going to suck.

-SORE throat, like not eating sore- especially in the morning
-acute fatigue, like all the sudden i have to sleep
-stomach churning, this isnt quite nausea, but its a close ugly second
-skin irriation, this will turn into what is close to a really bad sun burn on my back and chest.

so, ten more to go and then im done forever with the cancer treatment.

2006-09-09T18:30:00.002-07:00

Alex and Carin cutting their 'ski slope' cake. cool.

2006-09-09T18:30:00.001-07:00

me and the bride, Carin

2006-09-09T18:30:00.000-07:00

Aly, Christoph, Hanna, Adam, and Stephen

2006-09-09T18:29:00.002-07:00

Klaus, Darla, and Delvin

2006-09-09T18:29:00.001-07:00

ROAD RAGE

2006-09-09T18:29:00.000-07:00

ROAD TRIP

its been a while

2006-09-09T18:26:00.000-07:00

its been a while and ive done a lot.

so since ive been done with chemo (technically a week and a half ago), i have done my radiation 'work-up', gone to denver for alex and carin's wedding, started school, gotten my port out, and gone to chicago for a training in a certain statitistical method that i want to use in my thesis. i posted some pictures, of which there are many more. klaus suggested i find a place on the web to post them all so that you all can browse to your fullest hearts' content, but that is a task for another day.

i start radiation on monday. im nervous, but mostly because i dont want it to burn my port site wound. i also have a blister from the 'second-skin' dressing they put over my surgery wound. its two inches long and hurts like a bad sun burn. im hoping that the radiation doesnt irritate these things, but it probably will.

i know this is a lame post but im SO tired. im guessing my posts are going to be lame from now on since im starting school. klaus is considering taking over. maybe if you all encourage him, he will be forced to.

ALY IS DONE WITH CHEMO

2006-08-23T16:17:00.000-07:00

I AM SO DONE.

I got my scan results back today and YOURS truly is finito with chemo. I love you all.

2006-08-21T16:36:00.000-07:00

Carolyn is 30 weeks pregnant (well, 29 in this picture, i think). also notice how my freckles stop at my would-be hair line. fascinating.

2006-08-19T15:40:00.000-07:00

geoff and steph made this kick ass shirts for everyone at the party. hot chicks (like me and carlee) prefer cancer supporters...

2006-08-19T15:38:00.000-07:00

aneil and shelley!! TOO cute.

2006-08-19T11:59:00.000-07:00

look how pale i am next to maaya, jenn and allison!

2006-08-19T11:58:00.000-07:00

Galen, playing in the westwood band!

2006-08-19T11:57:00.000-07:00

Lia and Kira, they are getting so old!!!

2006-08-19T11:56:00.000-07:00

Me and Kira, my lovely sister.

Chemo #12

2006-08-19T11:48:00.000-07:00

First, let me say, great comments on the bat story. little did i know everyone had something to add to my seemingly unique experience. the old houses here really are batcaves.

Second, I did indeed go to austin before my 12th chemo. it was FUN. i got to surprise carolyn, hang out with the livaudais family and the taylor family and my own family. i also got to have a party at john's new phat loft. pictures to follow.

Third, chemo 12 was like all the other chemos, not too bad, but still nothing i would wish on anyone. im recovering and praying to God that it was my last. ever.

Fourth, if it wasnt my last chemo, that means i will have four more and im putting out an invite to anyone who wants to come hang out with me during any of the the last four. it would really lift my sad spirits if i had company for the last chemos. but hopefully this will all be besides the point anyway. i *should* know by thursday of this week what the deal is. finger's crossed, people!

Chemo #11

2006-08-08T12:26:00.000-07:00

this time 'round was ok. i was fine by monday and the most annoying part of the weekend was the hot flashes i kept having.

but i do have news. its sad. and mad.

my dr. informed me that they will be taking a CT scan after the 12th chemo. based on the results of that scan he may recommend four more chemo treatments. so i either have one more or five more to go. i wont know until the 23rd, so as you can imagine, im bummed and in limbo. i cant even plan. this puts me in a tight spot. klaus is pretty bummed too, so if you get a chance, send him an email to let him know you are thinking of him. i get a lot of those emails, but he needs some too.

we are especially bummed because we recently found out that one of his family members has been diagnosed with non-Hodgkins lymphoma. this is just a bad year!

if cancer didnt kill me, a rabid bat sure as hell wont

2006-08-08T12:03:00.000-07:00

klaus and i had a bat 'situation' at 4am last night (this morning?). it all began earlier in the night when we were watching the disappointing coverage of the war between hezbollah and isreal on dateline on our disappointingly small tv/vhs combo. he and i both heard squeaky mouse sounds that simultaneously seemed to come from the kitchen, outside, and our bathroom. we decided after careful scrutiny of the kitchen cupboards and bathroom counters that it must be originating outside and therefore was none of our immediate concern. back to the tv.

THEN, at 4am, i hear the sound again. it rips me from my otherwise sublime sleep (which as many of you know is rare and very welcomed state). the sound now seems to come simultaneously from under my bed, in my closet, outside, and in the light fixture directly above my little scared body. at this point, mind you, i have no idea what the offending creature is or what its intentions are. im in a haze, terrified that this THING is going to creepy crawly all over me and no amount of shuddering is going to cure me of my intense terror. THEN i hear it, for sure, in the light fixture, and THEN i see it, black on black, swooping down to spear me with its tiny rabid teeth. i immediately throw the blankets over my head and punch klaus to get him up and at'em.

now, ive had bat situations before. ive never had to deal with them. my former roommate, jenn, who i have and will continue to refer to as the 'batmaster' has saved me and several others, including her boyfriend, on many occasions from crazy bats. the most memorable time for me was right after she and i moved in to this apartment. i had no furniture yet, save a dresser that had been left for me by the lazy previous renter. i was alone in the apartment and i saw the biggest bat EVER chillin out in the corner of the living room. i freaked out and ran into the kitchen where i could keep my eye on the horrendous creature but have a little protection from it. it swooped into that very kitchen, causing me to scream (i mean SCREAM) and run into my bedroom, slamming the door shut. twenty minutes later, i decide i dont want to forever be a prisoner in my own home i knew i had to call jenn. but my phone was out THERE! eeek. i gathered all ounces of bravery and courage and ran out blindly, crouching low, grabbed the phone and pulled it into my room. i breathlessly made the call that saved my life (and probably the bat's). thanks again jenn.

anyway, so i assumed klaus would 'deal' with last nights situation in a similar fashion. he did, sort of. after being ripped from his sleep by my excited punch and groaning "its a bat, klaus , a baaaaaaaaaaat!", he flips on the light, which causes the bat to FREAK OUT. i did not witness this freak out first hand, because i was 'safe' under my covers, but klaus was a'scootin' this way and that to avoid the bat's swoop. he finally gave me the ok that the bat was out of the room and i came out of my protective shell. while not less concerned for the potential for rabies, he easily accepted the idea that the bat would be of no harm to us outside the room. i on the other had would have preferred he spent the next hour hunting it down, but one can only ask too much at 4am. so we 'went back to sleep' which means we tried to relax and not freak out every time we heard a sound.

anyway, im ok, klaus is ok, the bat is nowhere to be seen. for now. shudder.

oh my god: update.

klaus killed the bat. he didnt mean to, but it was vicious and crafty. he whacked it with a pillow after it reemerged this evening. i hope this isnt a sign of things to come.

2006-07-26T15:02:00.001-07:00

steven had a couple extra pictures handy of the bday celebration so here you go! this one is of steven and his only friend. marx. so sad.

2006-07-26T15:02:00.000-07:00

what kind of jackasses make the cancer patient stand at her own birthday party!?!!

2006-07-26T14:59:00.000-07:00

steven is so happy he gets to steal my thunder

Relay for Life pictures

2006-07-26T12:59:00.000-07:00

well i was going to put them up on flickr.com but there is a monthly quota or something and ive exceeded it before i was able to get them all up there. i think i got 17. well here is the url. ill try to figure something else out so you can see all the pictures, cause they are great.

ok update try snapfish. you may have to create an account.
Flickr
Snapfish

2006-07-26T12:51:00.000-07:00

kia and brett. so happy!

2006-07-26T12:50:00.001-07:00

it was steven's bday too. i know! how sad to have to share your birthday. he did my drinking for me.

2006-07-26T12:50:00.000-07:00

aly and the 'goof troop'. yes, i do call them that.

2006-07-26T12:49:00.001-07:00

jenn and i are wise women

2006-07-26T12:49:00.000-07:00

We went to a bar before going bowling, unfortunately i didnt take pictures at the bowling alley, but these are a few from the bar.

chemo #10 takes toll, blog severely affected

2006-07-26T12:06:00.000-07:00

So im a week out of my tenth chemo and things are quieting down in my ever demanding body. its hot here, as it is in most places right now. but for me that means taking great care to get enough in the way of fluids which on monday i didnt. so i wound up in the hospital for dehydration. but im back now, and with a steady "stream" of water in and seemingly out, im ready to update my blog.

THIS time around, i chose to repeat the IV emetic and was out before the nurse could say 'cancer'. i slept through almost all of my chemo, save for the red drug, which i had to be awake to eat my popsicle during. i didnt do a great job with the mouth freezing routine the ninth go 'round so i made sure to coat my mouth all the way through with the orange pop while the nurse pushed the drug. this prevents most of my mouth issues when done properly and you'll be happy to know i did right by my tongue this time. it still getting a little raw for some reason, but at least it doesnt feel like i have ten knives stabbing my tongue. and the chemical taste is minimized.

what else, what else... hard to believe i only have two more chemos left. im so over this whole thing. my body is ready for the comeback. i have like twenty or thirty hairs that peek out every now and then (until klaus gives me a hair cut). they are dark brown and coarse. so as you may have guessed, im quite excited to see what happens when they all grow back. cause they are going to. oh that reminds me, my eyelashes and eye brows, while havent 'fallen out' like the rest of my body hair, havent exactly been replenished like normal either. so six months of an abnormally slow/nonexistent eye hair cycle has left me with few lashes to bat. i already had light hair there, so its not a huge difference aesthetically. but my eyes are all itchy. god, i could go ON AND ON about what the hell is wrong with me. but i wont. consider yourself spared.

ok on that note, one week till #11. im going to post pictures from the relay and birthday.

i know!!

2006-07-19T06:26:00.000-07:00

a lot has been going on here which means i have not have time to blog my many adventures, as i have been having many. i will post soon, after i recover from my tenth chemo which is TODAY. recent events that need blog entries include the relay and my birthday. check back this weekend for pictures and updates. by the way, our relay raised over $59,000! Our team was one of the top teams and we even had a member who was a top fundraiser! go dana!

anyway, wish me luck for today's chemo. i feel good about it.

RELAY FOR LIFE PREPARTY!!!!

2006-07-12T21:57:00.000-07:00

We gathered this wed. night to tie dye our shirts! oh what fun was had. see below.

2006-07-12T21:53:00.001-07:00

team members excitedly decorate much anticipated team shirts

2006-07-12T21:53:00.000-07:00

team mascot 'le louie' the poodle shows up to support the cause! louie commands, 'le donate!'

2006-07-12T21:52:00.000-07:00

action shot

2006-07-12T21:51:00.000-07:00

our fearless captain becky aka 'gabby' shows us her strongest muscle. look how much her hair has grown since shaving! JEALOUS.

2006-07-12T21:50:00.000-07:00

the troops rally to tie dye for relay

RELAY FOR LIFE

2006-07-12T10:47:00.000-07:00

ok so i didnt take any pictures from rachel's visit. but you can feel free to imagine us lounging around and watching movies.

BUT i will have TONS of pictures from this weekends upcoming relay for life event. Thanks to all you magical people who have contributed to the cause! you guys 'rock the casbah' as my good friend frank always says.

and for those who havent had the chance to donate, there is still time! and here is a little news story (courtesy of klaus) to tickle your donation bone. (ew)

Cancer Atlas

So now, if you feel like donating, its really easy! just click the link to the right and you can either do it online with a credit card or send in a check. all the information is right there! THANKS!

Chemo #9 - good news!

2006-07-07T18:46:00.000-07:00

isnt this starting to feel like a roller coaster?

i had my ninth treatment directly following a fast review of my CAT scans on wed. The scan revealed a significant shrinkage in the size of the tumor in my chest and from what we can tell a complete eradication of the node on my lung. The lymph system may still have cancer cells running through it and the mass (albeit much smaller) may still contain cancer cells. So we arent in the clear yet, but this news shows us that we are definitely on our way!

I didnt meet with my main dr. to go over the scans because he is out of town at a conference, so i hope meet with him next week to get a clearer picture of what these scans mean and what the results say about my future, near and far. updates to follow!

Hooray!

ps. chemo 9 went really smoothly and im only feeling the slightest nausea and mouth firey-ness. Rachel is set to visit this weekend so hopefully ill have more pictures to post soon. =)

pps. Fantl Family: Klaus is doing well. Currently he is slaving away in the kitchen to prepare a tasty dish for me. He says hey to Avery (as do I) and he hopes that the heat isnt killing you in Texas.

are we effing there YET

2006-07-03T14:16:00.000-07:00

there are days when i almost feel like i dont have cancer, but was just the object of some cruel drunken mischief that left me bald and slightly hungover. those days are fewer and farther between as we near the end of this excruciatingly LONG AND DRAWNOUT medical emergency. today tops the charts as one of the worst experiences of this whole terrible experience. the horrors werent long lasting, but they will nonetheless be memories i will someday choose not to keep with me anymore.

today i had a cat scan on top of my regularly scheduled blood draw. they actually happened in reverse order and owing to the miracle of inefficient insurance bureaucracy, i had to get them done in separate places. this would highly displease al gore, since i had to drive all over town (no, al, im not getting on a bus or a bike to go get a cat scan and a blood draw). to add insult to dual injury, the cat scan was scheduled at 810 this morning. sigh.

so i get there and they start me drinking the dreaded crystal light lemonade and contrast mixture (3 LARGE glasses) over an hour's time. i did get to chat with a madison elder, born in 1932, raised in chicago, spent her married life (to the head of neurosurgery might i add, ahem) in madison. we talked about how madison has changed and found solidarity in anti-sprawlism. our delightful conversation was interrupted periodically when either she or i had to desperately use the potty or get an IV inserted. my iv insertion was really what started the debacle. the flush of saline that they shoot through the iv (or port, usually) is deeply nauseating. even typing the word directs my stomach to rumble and belch. after i had my iv properly inserted (accompanied by an unnecessary amount of blood this time 'round, thank you nurse), i had to go back and finish my lemonasty.

when my turn came for the cat scan i knew i was going to spew. i cannot describe the desperation of trying to keep in vomit as you move in and out of a large machine. they took two scans and after the second i managed to utter "are you done?" before i let loose in the pale pink bucket. shudder.

anyway, i went home, rested, and then went in to my insurance clinic to get my blood drawn. they had to use the same arm as my iv. ouch.

the upside is that i got it all done and i have a day to forget it all before going to chemo wed. also, i will get to see the progression of the treatment with the cat scan, so i really cant be too mad at it. also, klaus looks really cute today, so please, my world is pretty good.

Chemo #8

2006-06-30T17:19:00.000-07:00

This post is over a week and a half past due... but for a reason. Chemo eight wasnt as brutal initally for me as seven, but took its toll on my energy for days afterwards. for about three days post chemo i could barely move, my muscles were so tired. my shoulder and hip joints ached as well and i felt sick to my stomach as always. but i got better as i always do and took a trip to ohio for a conference on health inequalities. the plane ride and hotel navigating wiped me out but the conference overall was a spirit lifter. i got to see michelle again and meet some great people in the sociology world.

i have a cat scan scheduled for monday and chemo scheduled for wed. i am taking seven shots this time instead of five so if my counts are low then all is lost.

hope everyone is fabulous... and independent, as this weekend's holiday directs us to be.

feeling better...

2006-06-11T21:50:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to let you all know im feeling much better... nearly 100%. im having some lightheadedness and racing heart rate issues, but other than that i feel back to normal. tonight was unexpectedly eventful as you can see below. jenn decided now is the time! embrace your cancer friendship! three months after the shaving party, jenn has joined us in short shaved solidarity. love you jenn! will dana be next???

2006-06-11T21:49:00.001-07:00

wait a minute, are those scissors!?